Joseph, the husband of Mary
Looking at the man who would raise Jesus as his son
This time of year, we focus more on Mary and Jesus than we do Joseph. There’s a reason for this obviously, and that’s because the story of the birth of Jesus revolves around Jesus and His mother Mary. However, we often overlook Joseph, who would take in Jesus as his own son, despite Mary having been a virgin when she conceived (all Scripture quotations will come from the New King James Version).
What does Scripture say about Joseph? First of all, it says that he was a righteous man (Matthew 1:19). He was also a man who cared about the women he was pledged to marry. Joseph loved Mary. There are many things that we are believers, especially men, can learn from Joseph. Matthew 1:18-25 states
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call his name JESUS, for He shall save His people from their sins.
So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel”, which is translated, “God with us.”
Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and to him his wife, and did not know her (have sexual relations) till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name JESUS.
Here are some things we can learn from Joseph, especially for us men:
Joseph was a morally upstanding man
Joseph was at least a few years older, if not several years older than Mary. He and Mary had not yet had sexual relations (it was forbidden in the Mosaic Law to do so prior to marriage and Joseph and Mary had not quite yet officially married). He loved God and followed the Law of Moses when it came to sexual morality (the laws of morality still apply to Christians today with the exception of the no sex during the wife’s menstrual cycle). When Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he had to have been angry and accusing Mary of running around. He knew the Child wasn’t his because he hadn’t had any sex with Mary yet. As Christians we are to be an example of how to live to the world, and Joseph set an example for how Jesus should live before He was even born.
Joseph was willing to be taught
When Mary told Joseph the story about how the angel Gabriel came to her and told her about the fact she was carrying the Son of God in her womb (the story can be found in Luke chapter 1 of how Gabriel came to Mary and told her that she would be the mother of the Son of God), Joseph had to be thinking to himself something along the lines of “You’re crazy. An angel did not appear to you and tell you that you will giving birth.” However, Joseph was willing to listen. He was likely also confused as to what to do with Mary. One night while Joseph was asleep, an angel came to him and told him that the Child was miracle baby and that Mary had not been messing around with other men. Joseph’s willingness to be taught saved him from making a rash decision. We should all be teachable as Joseph was, because none of us have all the answers when it comes to our faith or the Bible.
Joseph used his power to protect
Go look at how Joseph deals with the news of Mary’s pregnancy. He didn’t want to publicly shame her, but instead to secretly send her away (in other words, divorce; that’s how serious of a commitment a betrothal was). Joseph cared more about protecting Mary than protecting his own reputation. As Sarah McDugal says, “Joseph’s instinct was to sacrifice his pride for her safety.”1 Mary’s life was in danger, as was the Child’s and Joseph loved Mary enough to make sure she was protected and that she and the Child would be safe.
Joseph also shows us what it means for a husband to love his wife. Joseph epitomized what Paul says in Ephesians 5:25 when he writes “Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”. His decision to protect Mary at all costs was an act of love and in that Joseph showed how much he loved Mary.
As Christians we should use our power to protect those who need to be protected, such as children and the abused. However, often times this does not happen, especially in the cases of abuse, where victims are often times blamed for the abuse that happened to them. Joseph’s instinct to protect Mary is how we as Christians should handle those kinds of situations in which a person claims to be a victim of abuse.
The man who God the Father chose to be the man who would raise Jesus and show Him how to be a man is an example for all of us. He was a morally good man, he was teachable, and he used his power to protect. The Father knew that Jesus would be in good hands when Mary became pregnant with the Savior, and it’s likely Jesus used the lessons Joseph taught him in His life and in His ministry.
Sarah McDugal, “Ultimate Biblical Manhood: Using Power to Protect. Wilderness to Wild, December 21, 2022, accessed on December 4, 2023. https://www.wildernesstowild.com/community/public/posts/57960-ultimate-biblical-manhood-using-power-to-protect